Ask Kat Advice Column
After many years of working in various disciplines and industry sectors, none as a therapist, Kat is willing to tackle life's biggest (and smallest) personal questions. Email Kat your questions.
When is it "TOO LONG" to wait on a relationship with someone you know and see all the time to actually begin?
Relationships do not begin until there is awareness and acknowledgement from both sides. Unless there is an understanding between you both that a relationship should begin, then it will never happen.
I am wondering if the question here is regarding a friendly relationship, or an intimate one. It is a different story to some degree depending on which one that is, but for the most part, a few things come to mind that can support both.
A few questions however…
Are you already friends? If so then this makes it easier to know if a mutual understanding exists.
Have you not talked with this person yet? If so, then you must initiate conversation. Depending on how that goes, you can deduce if a relationship should begin.
Talking with someone, either the first time or not, is a very special bond between two people. Cultures establish speech and language as a way to communicate and create that special connection. With that, you should be able to pick up body language, or tone, to know if someone wants to welcome you as a friend, or as intimate.
Typically, relationships that begin as friends are better in the long term because you know each other on a different level before getting intimate, allowing you to determine better if intimacy should occur.
If it never does, no need to worry, it’s either not time yet or never will be. So don’t wait around on someone and keep from experiencing life because of it. Instead trust it will happen if was meant to be. In the meantime, start a conversation if you haven’t already and spend some time with the other person with no expectations.