Last night I basked in the light of the Full Moon and requested clarity on the recent grief I was experiencing with the death of my favorite musician, DJ i_o, also known as Garrett Lockhart. I had a relationship with i_o through his music and his death hit me profoundly. I never met him, I was fairly new to his music, but there was something about his energy that lit up my spirit. I noticed this igniting whenever I heard his music or watched him virtually perform. We met at the very beginning of the pandemic, back in March 2020, and he kept my internal flame lit when chaos and change was occurring externally. He had no idea he had this effect on me, and so many others, during the stress 2020 had created for everyone. When he recently died, this ignited fire inside of me flickered with pain, a piece of me was extinguished. The past four days I reflected hard-core on why I felt this emptiness and pain inside of me, regarding a person I never personally knew. Thanks to the energy of last night’s Gemini Full Moon falling on my face, I was able to understand why I was so connected to him and why his energy lit up my spirit. Over the past several years, my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs began transmuting, and i_o’s entire persona churned my wheels of metamorphose faster and provided a sense of confirmation of what was changing for me.
---> Taught me to be authentic, to be myself and not to care what others think, because it doesn't matter. What matters is being me and living in my own truth, and doing so is not selfish. That I must have confidence to step into myself, in its truest form, and be comfortable doing so, without fear of abandonment or rejection, which deflates my power. Instead, all humans have value and worth which gives us power.
---> Proved to me that living with passion for something is necessary. That our lives only have meaning in how it affects others lives and serving people is a big part of life’s purpose as we are all connected in its fabric. That being fulfilled in some way makes life worth living and without it we are challenged deeply with pain and suffering.
---> Reminded me that it's okay to question everything, to think deeply about things, and to not be fine with what's happening around us. That questioning the establishment is necessary and that status quo isn't necessarily the right way. That it's okay to not want to be conditioned and conformed. That it's alright to want freedom from the illusions and call them for what they are, even if it's not popular. Instead, finding and doing what makes me happy is uber important as a sense of rebellion against the falsehoods of what's supposed to make us happy.
---> Restored my faith in humanity. That it's okay to be an individual, yet part of a larger community. That I need to find my people and not try to fit into just any circle, but instead attract those that are too transmuting. They do exist, and more people are waking up and shedding old skin just like me. That there are people out there, on my vibration, that my spirit cannot wait to meet. In the meantime, I cannot be afraid to walk alone.
---> Showed me I can create a life of love amongst infinite possible ways to do it, and we don't need to compete with each other while doing it. Starting with love for ourselves, then doing what we love, and subsequently this will spread love to others. That I must do what comes easy to me, a sense of effortless manifestation as a sign we are on the right track leading with love.
Thank you i_o for helping me gain the needed confidence in knowing I was already on the right path in my awakening. May your spirit live alive through these changes in myself and those others you have also transmuted. Even though he believed nothing mattered, he also believed everything we do affects others, and it is my hope that his death will evoke change in the people he impacted, which in turn will serve humanity well.